Stella Dallas

It has been at least a week since my last blog. I think this was two fold; one-I really have been busy and secondly I wasn't quite sure what to blog about and then when I did blog whether it would be worth reading.

Anyway, tonight the thought finally came to me. So here goes.

Twitter. As with most things in my life, I jump in with both feet. And as much fun as Twitter is / has been (and no I'm not leaving twitter) it is amazing how it can leave you feeling quite empty and questioning yourself. This happens when you respond to someone and then don't respond back. You then wonder "Is it something I said ?, Did he not get my tweet?, Why is he responding to others and not me ?". All these reasons make me think of Stella Dallas. Now those of you who have never seen Stella Dallas are missing one of the all - time classic movies. Stella Dallas (Miss Barbara Stanwyck) is a mother who lives, literally, on the wrong side of the tracks. She has a good relationship with her daughter, who ends up becoming engaged to someone from the other side of the tracks. Suffice it to say that Stella never feels she measures up and so as not to embarrass her daughter she does not attend her wedding. The final scene of the movie is absolutely heart wrenching. There is Stella standing in the pouring rain seeing her daughter married. It will tear at your heart.

I often feel I have lived my whole life as a Stella Dallas. Never quite fitting in - never being in, the in-crowd, always a step behind, always looking in at the party but not being invited in.

If I stop and think about this practically, why should I worry or care about whether someone I don't even know chooses to respond to me. It shouldn't matter. But you know what ? It does.

Perhaps one day I will end up with an invitation to the party.

Until then................

And so it goes.