It's Not Me. Its You

The line really is supposed to me "it's not you , it's me". The best example of it was used in a Seinfeld episode when George was trying to break up with his girlfriend. He tried to use the 'it's not me, it's you line" and she beat him to it.

Well I have been thinking a lot about that statement and have come to the conclusion that it really isn't me and it is you.

Now this may not apply to you - you who is reading this, but it does apply to a few recent incidents in my life.

I can honestly say that I am and try to be a good person. Oh yes I am sarcastic, sometimes make fun of others but it is in fun and I would never intentionally hurt someone.

That being said, Twitter has been an eye opening experience. Both internally and externally. I have met some incredibly nice people, Chris, Rhyse, Ross, Mike, Terry, Izzie, Blair to name just a few, but I have also met some who have chosen to remain aloof or even off hand.

This initially bothered me - and this was after extending a hello as well as in one case some feedback about a resume. Since that time the response I have had has been extremely off hand. Now I recognize this could be my perception. Perhaps not, and as such you may take what I say with the recognition this is being told from my perspective only.

Recently I ran into someone with whom I had a difference of opinion - unknown why - and I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to start anew, refreshed. Although there was civility at the beginning of the week, but Friday there was barely a recognition of my existence.

So where does this lead me. Well previously I would have been quite upset and replay anything I could have said or done. But now, I adopt the reverse George Costanza stance" It's not me and it is you !" So if I am not followed, not responded to, blocked, or ignored, I will know one thing, it's not me, its you.

And so it goes.

Stella Dallas

It has been at least a week since my last blog. I think this was two fold; one-I really have been busy and secondly I wasn't quite sure what to blog about and then when I did blog whether it would be worth reading.

Anyway, tonight the thought finally came to me. So here goes.

Twitter. As with most things in my life, I jump in with both feet. And as much fun as Twitter is / has been (and no I'm not leaving twitter) it is amazing how it can leave you feeling quite empty and questioning yourself. This happens when you respond to someone and then don't respond back. You then wonder "Is it something I said ?, Did he not get my tweet?, Why is he responding to others and not me ?". All these reasons make me think of Stella Dallas. Now those of you who have never seen Stella Dallas are missing one of the all - time classic movies. Stella Dallas (Miss Barbara Stanwyck) is a mother who lives, literally, on the wrong side of the tracks. She has a good relationship with her daughter, who ends up becoming engaged to someone from the other side of the tracks. Suffice it to say that Stella never feels she measures up and so as not to embarrass her daughter she does not attend her wedding. The final scene of the movie is absolutely heart wrenching. There is Stella standing in the pouring rain seeing her daughter married. It will tear at your heart.

I often feel I have lived my whole life as a Stella Dallas. Never quite fitting in - never being in, the in-crowd, always a step behind, always looking in at the party but not being invited in.

If I stop and think about this practically, why should I worry or care about whether someone I don't even know chooses to respond to me. It shouldn't matter. But you know what ? It does.

Perhaps one day I will end up with an invitation to the party.

Until then................

And so it goes.

What I Know

This says it all:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaxkSA49svw&feature=related

And so it goes.

Turning Your Back Can Create An Opportunity

Through Twitter I had the opportunity to meet one of the people I tweet with. I was to meet him and his friends at the Harbour Castle Westin hotel in the lobby bar.



I got there respectably late - 20 minutes past the hour, and there he was with a number of other tweets. With 6 or 8 people around him, I just couldn't get up the nerve to go introduce myself.



When I told people this story or when I tell people how shy I am they find it hard to believe. But it is true. I am painfully shy. I think it stems from my youth, my whole life actually, being overweight and unattractive. I often joked about being in a Trixie Belden or Nancy Drew novel. No, I wasn't the heroine, I was always the runner up - the fat friend who was the support. Now this isn't necessarily a bad thing, a sort of wind beneath the wings type of person is good. But after a while you do get tired of being the runner up.


Watching a made-for-TV-movie last night I heard this interesting statement: Fear is like a hologram. You think it's real and it stops you. But once you push through it you realize it wasn't real at all.

I hope I can learn from this. Because by not introducing myself, I missed the opportunity of meeting some very nice people. Truly my loss.

And so it goes.

All about me

I had planned to write more about me tonight - rather than write from my perspective, however Melinda called me and let me know that her husband was a little upset that I hadn't mentioned him. So this is all about Melinda's husband Pat MaGroin.\First off, let me say how sorry I am for Melinda - and often laugh out loud - at her name. I mean really, Melinda MaGroin ? Such a shame.

But I digress. This is about Pat; Pat MaGroin.

Let me sum it up this way:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCnUsInBQws

And so it goes.